We share the following review of HAVEN 24: A Biblical and Compassionate Response. Thank you Professor Brian Huizinga for sharing your thoughts.
Last weekend (I write mid-January), in the midst of a furious winter storm, I joined hundreds of others in attending a two-day conference in Hudsonville, Michigan hosted by Haven of Mercy on the subject, “A Biblical and Compassionate Response to Abuse in the Church.” Due to the snowstorm, the majority of people stayed home and tuned in via livestream, and during the twenty-four hours in which the video-recordings were posted on the web following the conference, the recordings reportedly attracted thousands of hits. The conference featured three speeches on domestic abuse by Pastor Chris Moles, and three on sexual abuse by Rachael Denhollander. The three speeches for each speaker were divided along the same three lines: 1) theological foundations, 2) dynamics and impacts, 3) biblical and compassionate response.
I did not attend the conference with the intent to write about it. I attended to gain personal knowledge to help me become more faithful to God. Intentionally, I did not jot down a single note, nor sketch a basic outline for any of the speeches. Instead, I sat back so I could take in the moment, absorb both what was said and how it was said, examine my own heart and life, and as always, try the spirits to see whether they were of God (I John 4:1). I found the presentations profitable and when reflecting upon them afterwards, I decided it would be worthwhile to write something for the readership of the Standard Bearer. Because I have no notes, and because the video-recordings were removed from the web, I have no material to reference or quote. But that is okay, because I do not intend to give a standard review that defines terms and provides a synopsis and analysis of the content of each speech.
Instead, I will do something out of the ordinary and quite subjective. I will note some lasting impressions that the speakers made upon me, as they not only presented truths but themselves. I am familiar with the books authored by each speaker,(1) and have seen a fair number of Denhollander interviews and presentations online; however, hearing the two speak in person was a new experience. While neither is a celebrity to be flattered or a superstar to be venerated, each has extraordinary experiences and knowledge in their respective fields and has been gifted by God in a unique way for helping many individuals, families, and churches as they grapple with domestic and sexual abuse. I do not endorse absolutely every word spoken by each speaker. Neither do I share identical personal theological convictions with either of them in the whole body of biblical truth. However, that does not hinder me from thanking the Lord for the helpful instruction He provided through them as they applied the timeless and heavenly wisdom of Scripture to these two dark realities with which the church of Christ must contend.
Good material and careful reflection upon the topic of abuse is timely. Abuse, both domestic and sexual, is not the only threat to the church today. Abuse is not the only topic that matters and is worthy of a large conference. But it is a very important topic that historically has not received due attention. As a denomination of churches, the PRCA has expressed its commitment to strive to be faithful in dealing with abuse, and most recently this has included a synodical decision to contract a third party for investigation into sexual abuse. The work of the investigation is well underway, and periodic updates from the Ad Hoc committee of Synod 2023 indicate that Guidepost Solutions is presently compiling data from survey results and will report to the committee.
Now, and in the future, as the Lord brings the results of this investigation to our attention, we must be faithful. We must humble ourselves and stand for truth, justice, holiness, purity, compassion, protection, repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation, and peace. We want to grow in our biblical understanding of all the dynamics and impacts of domestic and sexual abuse, and then wisely apply our knowledge to concrete cases so that each one of us makes sound judgments. Whether we are individuals or consistories, we want the infinitely holy name of God to be honored by our dealings with the oppressed, the oppressors, and their families. Thus, a conference on abuse, and now a few reflections, are in order.
Chris Moles
Pastor Chris Moles resides with his wife and children in West Virginia where he serves as a pastor and biblical counselor. He devotes much of his time to helping churches and families confront the evil of domestic violence and promote healthy, God-honoring relationships. He readily acknowledges that he has never suffered domestic abuse. He grew up in a home of godly parents and solid Christian influences. Moles admits that although he takes his subject very seriously, he does not take himself too seriously. During the conference he effectively drew in and engaged his audience with his casual approach, self-deprecating humor, questions, stories, and wide-ranging movements on stage. Outside of this conference, I would not be able to take a consistent dose of his relaxed style if he were the one expounding the lofty truths of God’s Word to me, and I do not think he would be upset by me saying so, as long as I take to heart the heart of his message: in domestic abuse, get to the abuser’s heart.
Two things about Moles struck me as he gave his presentations. First, God wisely equips each one of us for our position and task in His kingdom, and God gave Pastor Moles his personality, character traits, and the spiritual gifts of knowledge and utterance for his unique role. I was left with the impression that the casual demeanor of Moles suits him for devoting so much time to the grave reality of domestic abuse. How could a Christian, whether as friend, family member, pastor, or elder, help both victims and perpetrators of domestic abuse in hundreds and hundreds of different cases, and then regularly teach on the same, without burning out, denying the goodness of God, losing all objectivity, and becoming cynical about everything and everyone? The primary answer is that God gives strength, without which anyone would falter. But in addition to that, God uniquely shaped and equipped Moles for continually confronting the wickedness and anguish of the very serious matter of domestic abuse. God gave him a personality that does not take self too seriously, and though I could be mistaken, it seems to me that such a personality helps him enter the darkness again and again without fearing personal failure or criticisms. It also helps disarm his audience and counselees. Not everyone can labor in the same capacity as Moles, and we must know our limits and be faithful with what God has given to us.
Second, I was struck by the fact that he cares, and cares enough to help. That came out in various ways through the conference. He earned my respect for being a man of words and deeds (James 1:27; I John 3:18). He cares about the abused—women (and men) and children—controlled and oppressed by the cold-hearted. He cares about churches and communities being safe. He cares about perpetrators of abuse and is willing to work with them in gospel hope for their salvation. Caring, he not only sits at his desk to write an article or deliver a podcast, and he not only walks on stage to speak to an audience, but he gets down in the mire of the trenches to help.
That ongoing commitment of a weak sinner to care for others left an impression. It made me look up with gratitude to our God who not only gave Pastor Moles a heart that cares, but who is Himself The Faithful Father who “careth for you” (I Pet. 5:7). And how amazing that the Eternal Son cares enough about us that He, as the Nicene Creed puts it, “for us men and for our salvation came down from heaven; and was incarnate by the Holy Ghost of the Virgin Mary, and was made man; and was crucified also under Pontius Pilate; He suffered and was buried.” What condescension, compassion, and commitment!
Do I care? Do you? From my infancy until now I have only ever known a house of safety, and the same for Moles, but some are living in a marriage and home of domestic terror. Those in that home did not choose to be abused; it is inflicted upon them without their consent. When God brings that reality right into our pathway, do we care enough to help as we are able or go around?
Rachael Denhollander
Rachael Denhollander and her husband reside in Louisville, Kentucky where she homeschools their children. She is also an attorney, advocate, and public speaker. She speaks affectionately of her Christian parents as they lovingly reared her. Her name is recognized internationally because she was the first woman to speak publicly against the now infamous USA gymnastics doctor and sexual predator, Larry Nassar. Rachael knows the reality of sexual abuse from painful experience.
Her carefully articulated and serious-minded presentations made two impressions on me. First, she has the heart of a courageous lion. I thought of Joshua at the doorstep of Canaan, ready to enter and confront the walled cities, giants, and hordes of hostile Canaanites, all without Moses. God exhorted Joshua to “be strong and of a good courage” (Josh. 1:6). God has given similar courage to Rachael. Her life is a testimony to her determined conviction to hate and oppose evil as God hates it, and no matter what the cost. She is fiercely protective of little girls (understandably), but also of all children, young people, and adults. She is determined to pursue mercy and justice, and to make communities and churches as safe as possible from the wiles of predators. The Spirit has written Proverbs 31:9 on her heart, “Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy” so that she has spoken for those who have been made poor and needy by abusers. She has been resisted, opposed, and maligned by unbelievers and Christians, by secular and Christian institutions. But through it all, God has caused her to take heart by the power of the Lion of the tribe of Judah (Rev. 5:5).
Second, she has the demeanor of a harmless dove. Without this element, she would not continue to attract the audiences she does, nor would she be able to labor so profitably on behalf of the kingdom of righteousness. When I think of what she has experienced in sexual abuse, the opposition she has faced for calling attention to this heinous sin, the statement she delivered in a packed and pressure-filled courtroom, the interviews she has conducted for major news outlets, and all the speeches she has given at conferences, I marvel at the inoffensive demeanor God gave her. Where you might otherwise expect that certain topics would provoke her to disrespect authority and vent with a vitriolic tongue, there is civility and restraint. Only the Spirit could refine her so. Her conviction comes out with such poise, her fire with such sweetness, her passion with such purity, and her admonitions with the earnestness and tenderness of a mother. You cannot help but want to hear her out.
That balance of heart and demeanor brings me to a concluding point that ties together both speakers in the six presentations at the conference. I heard balance. I did not sense any radical extremes pushing too hard in one direction or another. Only by the grace of God can anyone be as deeply involved in abuse issues as these two speakers and not get tugged too strongly in one direction. On account of that balance, every listener could profit from this conference. If you listened to the instruction, encouragement, and exhortations, and if you were honest before God, you could go home with convictions regarding your life thinking, “I learned where and how I can be more faithful to God.” Let no one think the conference was only for others because he or she has nothing to learn or relearn.
With the wisdom of locusts
I believe a key to the church’s advancement to greater faithfulness to God in this issue of abuse is keeping rank. Scripture commends the men of Zebulun for keeping rank (I Chron. 12:33). Scripture also provides an analogy from creation and commends the wisdom of the seemingly contemptible little locusts for the same (Prov. 30:27): “The locusts have no king, yet go they forth all of them by bands.” The locusts are an ordered host, not a mob, with each locust knowing its role and ability. They maintain such good order among themselves, even without a king to train and lead them, that they can accomplish great things, such as consuming an entire field of crops as instruments of God’s judgment (Ex. 10:12; Ps. 105:34-35). They do not descend upon a field as a disorderly host with determined little groups flying in different directions or disinterested groups dropping out. There is neither division nor negligence in their ranks. Not one goes rogue. Not one is derelict in duty. Each knows and performs his role with such devotion that the locust army not only exists in bands, but advances, going forward as one.
We have a King—Jesus. He rules us by His Word (not the word of any man or woman—you, me, Chris, or Rachael) and He rules us by His Spirit (not the spirit of any man or woman—you, me, Chris, or Rachael). May God make us faithful in the role to which He has called us so that we advance together in unity.
Thanks to Haven of Mercy for the conference.
Professor Brian Huizinga
(1.)The two main books are: The Heart of Domestic Abuse by Moles, and What is a Girl Worth by Denhollander.
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